Whine and Neuroses Wednesdays: Introductions and Whatnot

As a designer, there are times when I think, "I'm such a lucky girl! I get to design pretty things and see people enjoy them! And I get paid well to do it!" And there are times when I think, "Holy Crap! My job sucks! The products I design end up in land fills and are probably made by people who make less 60 cents an hour! I want to jump off a cliff now!"

I've been in this industry for the past 10 years. I still think about these things 'til this day and they do keep me awake at night. There are times when I feel a lot of pride with what I do. And there are times when I want to crawl under a rock. I am constantly torn. I hate the excuse that I am but a person who needs to eat and pay for her mortgage and it's easy to bury the grime in the dark recesses of my head. I find it disturbing that I'm able to do so, and oftentimes I think, at what cost?

I'm not out on a vendetta on the design, retail and manufacturing industry. In fact, many of the most creative, innovative, kindest and most generous people I've met have been at work: from the cleaning lady who comes late at night to take my trash and praise my drawings to my bosses who have vouched for me or fought for me to get a decent wage. But for the purpose of what? So I can continue to design mass produced things that people don't really need? I guess so. It sounds self-serving. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't, and I've just been looking at the same picture way too long. But at the end of the day, I want to feel great about what I do, and I want others to feel the same way.

I've been told that the things I design helps "mold a culture". And my first reaction to that was, well, that's a cheap, plastic, lead laced, white-washed culture if I ever saw one--our culture is shaped by the likes of Walmart and Kohls? Nice. Then I thought about it again. There's a lot of truth to it. So what if if our culture is embellished with cheap, plastic, lead laced goods manufactured in places far far away? Made in America handcrafted footwear? Toys? Electronics? Not in a mass level, no. You'd probably have better luck finding unicorns and leprechauns. We've got Target and Pottery Barn, Disney, K-Mart and Toys R' Us in this here parts. This is a BIG chunk of our culture, of who we are, and I'M a part of it. Cheap, plastic, lead-laced and imported from far far away, made by 60-cent an hour hands.

The purpose of this blog is to illustrate how I feel. 10 years holds a lot of baggage and memories. I don't want to pretend that I always love what I do, nor do I want to paint a pretty picture of something I feel is homely at best if you remove all the pomp and frill. I won't deny this though: the design, retail/manufacturing industry is a very interesting, dizzying, oftentimes amusing and emotional study. And I'll just leave it at that.